steamy kiss...

seriously ... the new submission process ... they kicked ass ...

ya' know ... to be around me ... there's something that most people (and animals) find out rather quickly ...

i have a camera. all the time. like annoyingly all the time.

because making photos is my joy.

back some years ago ... i discovered that the joy that may have been missing from my life was that of a daughter.

through getting to know her as a person, as my daughter as the teacher of a little person to become something later in life ...

i found that making photos was truly the same kind of joy i experienced with my little girl ...

i feel like i should write JUST THEN or SUDDENLY ...

but ... i don't know the screenwriting term for JUMP AHEAD or JUMP FORWARD ...

like eight fucking years. nine. ten. whatever.

and then i met my triumverate of joy ... "my someone."

she didn't like people to make photos of her.

and she ends up with a photographer.

and i end up with meaning.

seriously, i have everything i need in life. everything which was supposed to make me happy. i've tasted chateau d'Yquem. domaine la romannee conti - romanee conti ...

i've met "those" who it seemed like an "alright" fit.

but perhaps not quite well-suited.

and then bam.

we are the same people. but ... different.

we enjoy all of the same things. but ... we bring different strengths to each other.

she's so beautiful.

not only on the outside ... but ... who she is.

thank god. thank whatever ...

that we noticed each other. that we gave each other the time of day.

we don't usually do that.

outsiders could surmise we're surly. acerbic. other-than-happy.

but it's a filter.

you develop that in los angeles.

and we both lived in los angeles.

and then she moved.

and i think back ... and i think now ... and i'm sad she moved from los angeles.

then again, i didn't know her in los angeles though we're both sure we probably bumped into each other.

i tend to bump people ... as i'm usually geared-up like a SWAT officer...

just differently.

bodies. lenses. attitude.

but ... it took her ... to move ... to an inhospitable place ...

and ... me ... to spend time in said inhospitable place ...

and we gave each other the time of day.

seriously ... i find something new to love about her every time we text, pin message, talk ... or communicate.

her friends check up on me through their respective hollywood networks.

funny.

i mean ... no one ever expects a serial killer.

- inside joke.

i mean ... there is no one i'd rather wake up and see other than my daughter or her sidekick...

than "my someone" ...

and i can't wait to see all of the different things we're going to see ...

participate in the adventures we're going to have ...

i want to walk over cold stones in still air ... and bring her espresso when she wakes ...

whether that is los angeles, las vegas, beaune, assisi ... or the trip she wants to take across the united states making photographs of all the crazy people we meet.

then again, she says i should switch to decaf.

we both joke about getting cancer.

cancer is funny to us.

not really ... not in a funny-ha-ha-sorta-way ...

it's just our joke between each other...

just like kicking bunnies.

she wears a shirt which says, "I Hate the Environment."

which she doesn't.

but it's funny nonetheless.

and neither of us think leaving one another is funny.

quite the contrary.

it feels like something is being ripped out ...

and when i have nothing to do the week goes slow, slow, slow ...

and then .... all of a sudden she's in my arms ...

giving meaning to things which seemed perhaps arcane before.

and everyone with concern ... has really liked her.

my parents.

my baby.

my chi.

my high maintenance social climbing friends who are "like bff with linds" ...

my recently married friend.

like almost everyone.

it's the funniest thing ... for someone always so "objective-oriented" ...

she's redefined things for me.

she's changed my goals.

she makes me wish i had a hundred more years.

i wish. i wish. i wish.

and this girl who didn't like to be photographed ...

ends up with a camera geek.

who is obsessed with putting memories and moments to celluloid or sensor ...

it's like breathing ...

and now ...

well ... now ...

oh my God now.

it's-a-very-nice. (meant to be heard in a borat-ian inflection)

very nice. (normal inflection)

and i look down at a buzzing blackberry and read, " ... all i want is to start our journey. i think we are going to push each other in the most amazing directions."

yeah ... there have been others.

but i feel like she was my first ...

and she sits in a meeting ...

and i sit here ...

thinking about a steamy kiss.

(but i'll bet she is, too)

leica mp. 35/1.4 ASPH. f/1.4. 1/60th. ilford delta 400. labscan adjusted for levels and +6 contrast.